Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  8

  Happy Mother’s Day!

  by HiddenPimo in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  to all the moms around the world.

  thank you for being a mother.. http://time.com/4771354/mothers-day-history-origins/.

  nothing pagan about it so it’s just like a wedding anniversary and should be celebrated!.

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  Sail Away

  I'm kinda sad, because I raised my kids as good JWs, and even though they are out, they don't really buy into the holidays. I guess that's on me.
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  16

  married young--in the cult--divorced ?

  by stan livedeath in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  following on from mrquik's thread.... who of us married at an early age to another j-dub ?

  how long did the marriage last?.

  how did it end ?.

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  Sail Away

  My husband was 27 and I was just turning 19 when we married-- both active JWs. We had two kids (both out, but not interested in TTATT). Hubby faded when he was thirty. I stayed in until I was 52, nearly 9 years ago. Marriage hanging on by a thread.
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  40

  Unky Punky just wanted ...

  by punkofnice in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ...to drop by and say, 'ayup, mates', to you all, my old friends.. i am so totally over the jobo thing i have surprised myself.. if anyone asks, 'what do you think of the jobos?

  ' my reply would be, 'i don't think of them.'.

  all my rage, anger and sadness have dissipated over time.

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  Sail Away

  Hi Punk! So nice to see you drop in! I'm glad you get to see your daughter in Canada every year. We do the same with our daughter, son-in-law and grandsons who live in Guatemala. Last summer we had an extra visit. They came to the States to visit for three weeks, and our son joined the party. It was great to have the whole family in the same place.

  Do stop in for a chat on the Yuku Facebook group. I'm sure they would love to hear you are doing so well!

  Diane
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  5

  Hope someone does a documentary on JWs the same way Leah Remini did on Scientology

  by HappyBlessedFree in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i will be eternally grateful to leah remini for her docuseries on scientology.

  it is what helped me to start waking up and seeing the org for what it is.

  i remember thinking huh “they call it disconnecting, we do the same thing.

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  Sail Away

  HappyBlessedFree, Elizabeth Vargas does an A&E documentary series called Cults and Extreme Belief. Season 1, Episode 2 is about Jehovah's Witnesses and Child Sexual Abuse.
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  45

  What woke you up?

  by HappyBlessedFree in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i’m fairly new so i don’t know everyone’s backstory.

  how did you realize the organization was false?.

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  Sail Away

  Congrats on your freedom and welcome, HBF!

  In early 2011, cognitive dissonance nearly killed me. I had six-week Intensive Out-Patient Hospitalization for severe, recurrent clinical depression and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. In early May, I had an emergency hospitalization due to toxicity from being over medicated for the same.

  I walked out of a TMS/Bible Study meeting knowing that I just couldn't listen to their rhetoric one second longer. I spent six weeks on my living room couch going over all the doctrinal and personal issues that had arisen over my 42 years in-- I took issue with the misogyny toward women in the Bible and in the organization. All the murder and mayhem in the Old Testament in the name of righteous warfare sickened me. Accepting blood fractions but not whole blood parts made no sense to me. I had done a careful study of the newer Isaiah's Prophecy books and knew that the dates just didn't add up. I wrote a letter to NY and received a six-page reply that was just dancing around the topic and not directly answering the discrepancies. I thought the Revelation Climax Book with all its trumpet blasts was a crock, not to mention the idea of crossing things out and penciling in changes. We had to do this at Pioneer School too. They couldn't even keep up with doctrinal changes in the publications. In 2010 when they presented the overlapping generation doctrine at the District Convention, my first thought was, "That's crap."

  My tipping point was both doctrinal and very personal. I absolutely knew that when I studied in the early to mid-70s the teaching on shunning was that, if a family member was disfellowshipped, you could still have "normal family relations", but could not talk about "spiritual things".

  My son went through a traumatic break up with his JW wife. He was still acting out a year later, so they disfellowshipped him, but he was still living in our home. I knew that when he moved out, I was supposed to shun him. One faction of elders was saying that if we were back in Isreal, as a parent, I would have to be the one to throw the first stone, so there couldn't be any contact. The other faction was saying, that given my concerns for my son's mental health, I could visit and check in on him, but I shouldn't let that be known in the congregation. These were the elders that maintained contact with their disfellowshipped children-- such hypocrisy. One of the hardline elders had lost a son to suicide due to extreme shunning which was unthinkable to me.

  We were taught that Jehovah would remove all pain and sorrow in the new system. I reasoned that the only way I could be happy in paradise forever would be to forget my husband (long-time faded JW/"apostate"), my daughter ("disassociated by her actions") and my son. If I wasn't a wife or mother, then who would that be in paradise? Certainly not me.

  I chose my life with my family now over life in paradise. At least that's how I saw it at the time. I left a believer and learned TTATT about three months later.
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  10

  Just noticed something about my membership here

  by JeffT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been a member of this board three years longer than i was a jehovah's witness (eighteen vs fifteen).

  i'm sure i've put in more hours here than i did in field service, it was more fun as well.

  anybody else with similar numbers?.

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  Sail Away

  I probably won't live long enough-- 42 years in; left at age 52. Out 8 years now.
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  25

  Dating question from a bible student

  by Biblestudent1 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i have done bible study for about four months now.

  the married couple who do it with me are lovely.

  i have attended meetings for about two months.

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  Sail Away

  Biblestudent1, you have received sound advice-- do your research on this site and JWFacts.com. This is a high-control group (read cult).

  I will be more blunt-- run for the sake of your happiness, your sanity, your autonomy and your life!
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  25

  I think I made up my mind

  by paradiseseeker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a month ago i travelled alone to italy for three days and i had the opportunity to visit the beautiful florence and re-visit many parts of rome.. but most importantly, i had the opportunity to stay alone and think about my situation and to make up my mind.. i've had very clear for almost 5 years that i will eventually leave the religion, but i couldn't decide when.. but now i know : i will leave on april 20th, the day after the memorial.. that day i will talk to my parents (this is by far the hardest thing to do) and soon afterwards i will talk to my closest friends, then i will send my disassociation letter.

  i know that i will let them down, i will hurt them, most probably some of them will cry... but i need to live coherently for the first time in my life.

  i'm sure that living in this contradiction is affecting and will affect my mental health and it's time for me to help myself instead of others.

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  Sail Away

  Paradiseseeker, I'm glad you took some time away to find some clarity. It often takes time away from the indoctrination at meetings to see your way out. That's a big step!

  I'm wondering if you need to take such a big leap though. When I first walked away, I told my COBE that I was taking as break. I didn't send a letter of resignation (I specifically did not dissociate) until years later.

  Do you think you might have a better chance at maintaining family relationships if you fade? There's no need to rush-- Armageddon isn't coming tomorrow!
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  35

  This Forum. Has it changed? For the better or for the worse? Or not a at all?

  by ThomasCovenant in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i post i try to imagine that i am at a social gathering or sometimes in someone's house as a dinner guest.

  that way it is easier to follow the community guidelines and posting rules set out on the site at the bottom of the page.

  i wouldn't want to make a fool of myself in public.

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  Sail Away

  The intelligent, thoughtful, compassionate people are still around and they post occasionally but they seem to have retreated in the face of all the anger around. I miss them.

  ^^This^^
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  13

  What to do when running in to a JW you know...How is this for a suggestion ?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey all,.

  so i have recently seen quite a few jws that were former friends in our community.

  i am always polite and say hello - although most will not acknowledge me.

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  Sail Away

  I never play their shunning game!